Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Flip Side of Adoption....

I found a new blog last night that made me reflect on adoption. This particular post was written by mother of a large family with 6 or 7 little girls, all adopted from China. All seem to be between 5 and 12. I don't know them personally but they look like a loving and caring family and the girls look happy and loved. This particular post was about their most recent adoption and the difficulties they are having. It appears their new daughter (maybe 5 or 6 years old?) is having many issues that are affecting the entire family. Its not my story to tell so I will just say that things are so bad that one of the other children asked why the parents adopted her and are ready to ship her back to China. Most of you reading this are adoptive parents and we know adoption is not for the faint of heart. Adoption is a beautiful way to grow your family and I for one cannot imagine life without my precious baby girl. But if you are not prepared for EVERYTHING you are in for a few scary moments. Those of you who are not adoptive parents, may not even understand. Can you see where I am going with this yet? Well, there was a post in this blog that made many readers really angry, leaving really nasty comments on this family's blog. The family opted to leave the comments up rather than deleting them. One person commented that this is what you get for posting your family's personal details on a public blog. Others made assumptions that were incorrect and some were just cruel. I just have a question for those who made those comments: Who are you to judge? There are blogs for everyone. Some post only the good, some only the bad, some both and so on. In my case, my blog is mainly a place where Leah go and learn about her beginnings when she is older. Something that may help her put pieces together. The first 17 months of her live are a mystery; and may always be, but I will see to it that she loses no more. I don't post as often as I would like, but living life cab get kinda hectic sometimes:) Not to mention keeping up with my busy little bees (yes, plural!) is quite the challenge. As parents, we all want the very best for our children and aim to be the best parents we could be. I read blogs of other adoptive parents because I want to learn to be a better parent. Some of these families have taught me what to expect, what to do, what not to do and so forth. I have also made very dear friends that have lived the good and the bad with us and supported us unconditionally and without judgment. For this I am thankful that you are brave enough to post the good, the bad, the ugly, and the wonderful. (Not necessarily in that order) So, yes adoption has a flip side, for some more than others. Whoever expected perfect lives as parents, whether adoptive or otherwise, is naïve and unrealistic. Parenting all three of my children has been WONDERFUL, but certainly not perfect. I would not change a thing. So, as I continue to go down this path, I am thankful that I have all of you bloggy friends to learn from and with. So keep those posts coming! I need them!

1 comment:

dawn said...

I recently read a blog where the same thing was happening but I believe it is a different one.
My first thought was one of compassion, I cannot imagine what they are going through. Not that many years ago I would have had a different reaction.

Never judge a man until you have walked in his shoes.