Think You’re Too Old To Adopt?
I woke up early this morning unable to sleep anymore and since I finally got my computer back from the shop, decided to visit the sites I used to love, and missed.I found this link under "Adoption Stories" in my agency's website. Of course it caught my eye because we are one of those 40 somethings that "started over".
The truth is I have never, or at least not yet, felt old! I am also in a lot better shape physically, mentally, and financially than I was in my 20's. Raising our first 2 was awesome! We couldn't have asked for better kiddos! This time around, we are wiser, and look at the world differently and I am enjoying parenting the same way I did before but with some experience under my belt. My husband on the other hand regularly reminds me that he does feel old at times. Although he is only 1 year older. I also never even thought about age when we started the adoption process. Oddly enough the age question was brought up shortly after we came home and every once in a while by some within our family. (Mainly on my side!) Sometimes it was brought up by silly little comments like "Make sure you don't spoil her so people don't say she is like that because she has old parents". (The spanish saying "Hijo de viejos", is the statement I heard but it gets lost in translation,lol). And then there is the one that whenever she sees pictures older parents, some of who now make up my new circle of friends, only notices the age and has to always say " Oh they seem older" . I don't curse, but. WTF!?!?
I could go on and on, but I won't.
I am grateful that I have thick skin, and most grateful for the adoption community that has taught me so much. And when I read a post like that I am reminded that we did a good thing. I am also thankful for the old friends, no pun intended, that supported us through the process and encouraged us with positive actions and comments. And to the others, sorry we don't call so much anymore.
2 comments:
I started my family at 26 and turned the big 40 this year and we are STILL adding to it....so we get called crazy plenty too....thing like, don't you eventually want them to leave?? How are you going to pay for retirement ect... I SOOOO get it!!!
I was a teenager when we had our first two kids and in the second half of our 20s when the third came along. We began the adoption journey when I was in my mid-thirties, but for several reasons including China's extended wait time, we did not adopt our first until I was 44. The age range we adopted in was definitely impacted by our age, wanting to make sure that our adopted children who already had loss and grief in their lives would not also lose us before high school was over. But even if that happened to one of us, these children will now have older siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents-an extended family to care about their well-being-something they would never have had in China. Yours will too.
Ruby
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